If you don't mind delving into your childhood a bit, what is it like growing up with influences from Jehova's Witnesses, Catholicism, and Pentacostal sources? Those are all very strong minded beliefs systems, none of which like each other much in my experience.
They are very different but as a kid you don't even notice. For me they all believed in God and Jesus. They all hold the Bible with great respect. My mother grew Catholic
and switched to another Christian branch as an adult, my Grandma on my dad's side was pentecostal. I had a neighbour who was a Jehovah Witness. At the time I didn't know my bible book she gave me and I loved reading had ideas different to what my family believed in. I kept reading it over and over. I used to know because of it many of the stories in the old and new testament. My best friend and his family were catholics.
Catholicism still has a good impact in many Mexican lives, it is full of traditions linked to our festivals even if our festivities precedes the introduction of religion. Catholics also have some sort of path you must follow, some rituals in order to become a full certified member. To be married by a catholic priest you will need that. Anyway my mother tried to make me have the first communion or whatever you call it, it is a ritual you usually start when you're a young kid. You dress in white, hold a candle pass a quiz based on a book they give you and yada yada. Thing is, if I recall things correctly, Grandma got wind of this and basically nagged for it not to happen. I was around six years old.
I also recall Grandma got angry at me when I proudly showed her a drawing I made of Jesus. She said to me he shouldn't be drawn as no one know God's face.
If I may ask, what was the simple stuff you started to resist when the cracks first started forming?
During pre-teenage years we started going to a Christian congregation. I don't remember the branch but it was nice. Small and cozy. Even though at first it was just mum and I, my father finally accepted to start going. He did not liked some of the preachers and some of the lectures. Around that brief time he accepted to go I twisted my left leg trying to learn to skate with some friends. I was ready to believe my leg would be healed that night when the Pastor did the Jesus is doing miracles number. My parents stopped me. I couldn't understand why? Wasn't I supposed to have faith and believe he can make possible the impossible? Why did my mum hold me back? I started to realise this weird separation on how far you can go. Soon enough my hobbies became a target and I started to find out that there were misinformation being parroted (Oh, no Pikachu means 1000 better than God. Protect your kids!), people that were so fanatic they would not pay attention to their kids needs because they religiously needed to attend each mass. A mother not going to her only son's wedding because they were married in a different branch.
When I started being uncomfortable with some of the lectures received I started paying attention to other branches. I tried to get into the Jehovah Witnesses because at first I thought that was closer to my beliefs. Of what I knew (Catholic and Christian) they seemed to hold the notion of the trinity. I couldn't accept that Jesus was God and JW also don't believe in the Trinity I also share the idea that there is not hell. I realised my beliefs started with a book from their religion point of view and I had an aunt who also was a JW so I thought I had found the "real" one. The religion I would settle with. After the fourth lesson I couldn't take anymore. I don't remember what specifically were the last straws but I think they had to do with the idea that the blood is your spirit, the breath of life, so when the Bible says to keep your spirit pure it means not dwelling with blood, for this reason transfusions are a big no. Receiving blood is making it impure it is not longer just your blood. They can do all they can to prevent you to get a transfusion even if it is the only thing that might save your life because it is better to die than let you lose your soul. For them it is a reversal sin. There is more, like their "calculations" on how old the earth is and stuff based on their interpretation on words like each "day" in genesis. That was too extreme for me. So I ditched the idea of trying to become a JW.
Then I listen to the Mormons, all good until they showed me the book found in the new world and told me on how when we die we'll get each our own planet and a bunch of weird things that I had never read before, many based on the newer book. So I also stopped the visits from them.
At that point I realised that even though I had some JW beliefs I also had a lot of Christian ideas that made difficult for me to fit in. I found out that many religious and Christian branches had this weird idea that someone that believed in God and Jesus but weren't part of their congregation were in a false sect. Any other branch was a sect. they all were the true religion. Some lectures were about how wrong the sister religion is for doing this or believing that. They talked about this urgent fight where you must go and get souls for God before Satan does, but rather than focussing in Spreading the news on God existing, they rather engage in the petty change into our religion or go to hell. Someone told me off for saying I liked to dance and was telling me I should use my talents to give him Glory, as in paint Christian stuff and Dance only to Hallelujah at church. The rest is flesh and is evil. I've always been attracted to magic, tales of fantasy. Were they evil? Was I wrong for liking them was that the fight against the flesh? Everything is the fight against the flesh for them.
Then I used to spend my 10% of allowances in God related stuff, pamphlets, stickers, recordings, etc. But church insisted I was supposed to give them that money and somehow putting them to them meant giving it to God. The more time that passed the less I believed that. At some point I read in the New Testament that the first Pastors had to work and should depend on the people to subsist. What they were doing was in addition of their normal lives. Many of the pastors I met growing up had a very good life just out of people's donations since the poor things were 24/7 under Gods commandment to steer the sheep. Anyway the more I red the New Testament the more I started to question church paradigms, like addressing the preacher as "father". There is a part where Jesus clearly says we shouldn't do that as we only have one, in another he points their expensive clothes and stuff... So you have this Chrsitian guy talking on how catholics are wrong for "idolatry" yet he's talking from a higher bench, is still called father and keeps expensive clothes and lifestyle. Things like these were cracks popping all over. I just can't grasp how they can do exactly what was said through Jesus was wrong with the religious of the past and not realise it.
As I said I kind of just stopped trying to find the true religion and started getting comfortable with the idea of your spirituality being something personal. When I was down, the college friends refreshed me and it was great but as usual once I got involved and they opened more of their belies I couldn't keep up. I don't think Homosexuality is a sin. I don't believe artists that draw naked people even if just temporary to get the proportions right are perverts, I don't believe bands are Satanic because of some symbol or lyrics. I can choose not to listen to it if I don't like what they say. I don't believe that whether I go to church is in itself what will save me, or that if I respect my neighbour decision not to belief I am going to be held responsible for their soul. Or that I will get crowns or a place next to God. I don't even have a set idea on what is paradise and what to expect from it. I don't think if I die before I baptism myself I won't be saved. I don't believe many things that people take for granted. I admit that not all of them steam from me reading the bible but I definitely find some things too inconsistent.