Posts by _LS_

    Love me some British monarchs. But for real, fuck Henry the VIII. That dude is solely responsible for destroying countless archeological sites of incalculable value.

    The Roman Declaration of War

    Roman religion is a fascinating thing. There's really no joy in it, which is why later Romans found Greek religion so attractive. Proper Roman religion was basically an insanely complicated series of rituals that all meant pretty much the same thing: "Look gods! We're showing you respect! Please don't smite us." So of course, like everything else the Romans did, the process of declaring war was a complicated ritual.

    One of the most interesting parts of this ritual was the throwing of a spear into enemy territory. Essentially, a priest would walk to the edge of enemy territory with a spear. And, in the presence of four witnesses, the priest would hurl the spear into enemy territory and recite a little speech about what the enemy had done to 'force' Rome into declaring war.

    Of course, eventually this ritual became untenable. It was begun back when Rome was little more than a city, and their enemies were an hour's walk away. A priest could walk out, declare war, and return to Rome in time to send the soldiers out for an attack the very same day. Once the Empire got big enough that their enemies were weeks worth of travel away, the whole thing became infeasible.

    So, a small field within the city of Rome was declared to be "enemy territory." That way the ritual could continue, but the priest didn't actually have to go anywhere.

    I like Shrek. I know it is the trend to hate it but I enjoyed the movie when it came out.

    People hate Shrek? I liked the first movie quite a bit. It's a little dated now because it relies so much on pop culture references, but it's still a solid movie.

    Shrek 2 through infinity, on the other hand...bleugh.

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    I liked the last TMNT movie. It is a mixed bag though.

    The CG animated one with Patrick Stewart, or the Michael Bay one?

    Cuz I liked the former as well. And the latter...well. I never saw it, because I'm not a masochist.

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    I don't remember much of the Avengers but I am curious on your opinion.

    The movie's plot is paper thin. It's enjoyable to see the various heroes interact with one another, but that's really all the movie has going for it. Loki is the single least threatening villain of all time, and that big 20 minute battle with aliens at the end of the movie comes out of nowhere. There's no buildup to it, the auience has no connection with the aliens at all. They're just random sci-fi mooks who show up out of nowhere to provide the film with a climax. It's dull.

    Overall the movie has some redeeming qualities, and it can be enjoyable to watch. But most of what is enjoyable about it is the characters who we developed relationships with in their own films. Avengers itself brings very little to the table.

    That said, I thought Age of Ultron was a whole lot better. I enjoyed that movie a lot.

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    Many people hate on Disney for different reasons. I am curious to know what are yours. :lengua:

    Hoooogh. I could write an entire essay on this and still not feel as though I'd expressed myself adequately. My loathing of the disney corporation is a layered thing, based on many different kinds of shit that they do.

    If I can try to sum all of that up into a bite-sized opinion, I'd say that the Disney corporation has built a monopoly on American culture. Fifteen years ago, Marvel, Lucasfilm, the Jim Henson company, and Pixar were all independent corporations. Just to name some of the most recognizable. It's disturbing to me that a single board of directors has control over so much of American culture.

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    I like the Daniel Craig Bond films. They make the old Bond films look like preschool entertainment.

    I don't think I've met a single person who actually dislikes the Craig bond films.

    Although, calling the older Bond films "preschool entertainment." Them's fightin' words, boyo.

    I read SL's piece on music production. Because this thread is full of obvious.

    The Eternal City

    In a way, the history of the Roman empire begins and ends with the sacking of Rome, The Eternal City.

    First, as I alluded in my previous post, is the sacking done by the Gauls. In this chaos, the Gauls destroyed most of the city's records, which is why everything we know of Roman civilization before the first sack is shrouded in mythology. The destruction was so bad that the Romans considered abandoning the city entirely, moving on to greener pastures. But early Romans were some of the grittiest motherfuckers in history. They rebuilt their city, and their descendants went on to create the most enduring empire the world has ever known. (Thoroughly conquering the Gauls in the process, I might add.)

    The second sack was by the Goths. By then the Roman empire was no longer very Roman. The city herself was militarily and politically unimportant. But as a symbol of the Roman civilization, this second sack hurt. It wasn't long after this that the Western empire was essentially dissolved and rolled into the Eastern empire. "The Empire" would persist for hundreds and hundreds of years after that, but it would be ruled by a Catholic, Greek-Speaking aristocracy who ruled from Constantinople. So despite continuity of governance, the empire after this is typically referred to as the Byzantine empire, rather than the Roman one.

    But in between these two sackings are eight hundred years of history. More than 3 times the amount of time that the United States has existed as an independent nation. And they accomplished it with technology no more advanced than swords and horses.

    Gaius Mucius Scaevola

    Much of the early history of the Roman republic is mythological, because the Gauls were dicks. But of the republic's legendary heroes, Gaius Mucius Scaevola is my favorite.

    Long story short, Rome was at war with some other dudes. And Gaius snuck into the enemy camp to assassinate the leader of the enemy dudes. But he failed and he got caught. And they bring him to their leader as a captive, and they threaten to torture him. And he basically said "I don't think you understand how badass Romans are." Then he took his hand and he stuck it in a nearby open fire. And he just fucking held his hand there, staring his enemy in the eyes as his right hand was reduced to a charred stump. This freaked out Rome's enemy enough that they decided to just turn around and leave Rome alone.

    "Scaevola" is an honorific he was given after the fact. It means "Left Handed."

    British scum. (Jk you guys are awesome. Except that time when you tried to kill all of the Americans. But that was 300 years ago so meh. Seriously though, love you.)

    Never forget 1812.


    This morning I put out a chicken and stuffing and such, and asked Morrie to prep a Christmas eve dinner while I slept. She went way above and beyond with fuckin' green beans and potatoes and an apple pie. It was awesome. In a couple hours now I'll be going to work, and she'll be going to bed. Then when I get home in the Morning, we'll open gifts.

    I don't even know the Lamentations of the Flame Princess ruleset, I probably wont read anything about it, and will basically nag LS for all the information.

    The great thing about LotFP is that the rules are extremely simple. Character creation takes 5-10 minutes for the whole group. From sitting down to play will be about 15 minute. And you'll never need to know a rule, because I'll never ask you for a rule. You say "I wanna jump," and I tell you what happens.

    The game is distilled to its core essence. Any unnecessary mechanic has been dropped.

    Yeah, I'll do it.

    Sweet!

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    Although I hate Google+

    Google+ hates you too. You slut.

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    I've never played DnD before, so I'm going to need to know how this works.

    There's really not much to know. A bunch of people sit together, the referee says "A man with three faces bumps into you and falls to the ground. He's screaming." Then one of the players says "I ask if he's alright." and then the referee says "He screams "KILL ME KILL ME"" and then one of the players says "I kill him." and then the referee says "You've unleashed the Demon Plague Sludge that lived inside of the person's skull, it oozes out his orifices and pools across the ground. Smoke begins to rise from the bottom of your shoes."

    etc. etc. etc. etc. etc.

    MOAR INFO:

    At this point I've got a hard yes and 2 soft yesses. So I'm setting the date for January 6th. It's probably easiest if we don't try and run the first session right in the middle of the holidays.

    Also, just so everybody knows what they're getting into, I run a high lethality game. Don't spend an hour writing a detailed character history, because your character has a pretty decent chance of ending up dead. Because plot protection is boring, and death is exciting.

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    But if you're lucky, there might be treasure and friendship.

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    Probably not though.

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