Posts by _LS_

Is Drawed to Life a mobile game? Do tell.

I run a very popular porn tumblr.

I also have a rarely updated normal tumblr. I'm linkskywalker, or linkskywalker14, or something.

^ Wrong.
< Is never wrong.
V Is only wrong when they disagree with me.

Also guessing sandal.

Scarves. Scarves are fashionable, versatile, and neat. Gloves reduce manual dexterity.

Butts, or @Lexatom 's face?

I brought him to the Riker Avenue dumps. There is a house that stands alone, not far from where I took him. I took the boy there. Stripped him naked and tied his hands and feet and gagged him with a piece of dirty rag I picked out of the dump. Then I burned his clothes. Threw his shoes in the dump. Then I walked back and took the trolley to 59 Street at 2 a.m. and walked from there home. Next day about 2 p.m., I took tools, a good heavy cat-o-nine tails. Home made. Short handle. Cut one of my belts in half, slit these halves in six strips about 8 inches long. I whipped his bare behind till the blood ran from his legs. I cut off his ears, nose, slit his mouth from ear to ear. Gouged out his eyes. He was dead then. I stuck the knife in his belly and held my mouth to his body and drank his blood. I picked up four old potato sacks and gathered a pile of stones. Then I cut him up. I had a grip with me. I put his nose, ears and a few slices of his belly in the grip. Then I cut him through the middle of his body. Just below the belly button. Then through his legs about 2 inches below his behind. I put this in my grip with a lot of paper. I cut off the head, feet, arms, hands and the legs below the knee. This I put in sacks weighed with stones, tied the ends and threw them into the pools of slimy water you will see all along the road going to North Beach. I came home with my meat. I had the front of his body I liked best. His monkey and pee wees and a nice little fat behind to roast in the oven and eat. I made a stew out of his ears, nose, pieces of his face and belly. I put onions, carrots, turnips, celery, salt and pepper. It was good. Then I split the cheeks of his behind open, cut off his monkey and pee wees and washed them first. I put strips of bacon on each cheek of his behind and put them in the oven. Then I picked 4 onions and when the meat had roasted about 1/4 hour, I poured about a pint of water over it for gravy and put in the onions. At frequent intervals I basted his behind with a wooden spoon. So the meat would be nice and juicy. In about 2 hours, it was nice and brown, cooked through. I never ate any roast turkey that tasted half as good as his sweet fat little behind did. I ate every bit of the meat in about four days. His little monkey was a sweet as a nut, but his pee-wees I could not chew. Threw them in the toilet.

If there are two things I hate, it's pop culture mashups, and 'who would win in a fight' arguments.

So it's a surprise to me that I found this video so entertaining:

While you are of course entitled to your own opinion (we're not really trying to reach a consensus here I think, just voice opinions), I disagree.

I assert that there is no intent behind the mechanical act on a species-wide level, which is what we're talking about. Individual choices are irrelevant. If we insist on pursuing a cause, "the biological imperative," or "the force of the evolutionary process" might serve. But there a whole lot less pithy than "because our parents fucked," so I'll stick with that.

Perhaps a minor difference. But given that your initial post was written with a sort of "I agree, and..." phrasing, I feel compelled to point out that I don't really agree with the "and" part that you posted. =P

But LotR was already a classic when those games came out. There's also a game "based on" Dante's Inferno, but I wouldn't exactly call it a tie in product.

Shadows of the Empire the game actually came out slightly before the book officially released, both in December 1996.

^Is an adult.
<Is also an adult.
V Is probably not an adult.

As a kid, I got up to the Boba Fett fight before I started using cheats. After that, I needed cheats for almost every level.

The vehicle levels I could do without cheats just fine. The swoop level and the last level were fun. I feel like I miiiiiiight have beaten the sewer level and the cargo ship without cheats a few times. But Xizor's Palace? Fuck that place, man. Fuck it, fuck it, fuck it. Particularly that god damned boss. At least the cheats were interesting and fun.

Shadows of the Empire is actually an interesting beast. I feel like people overlook how weird it was. It was a Star Wars book which got:

1. Multiple editions of varying levels of abridgment, apparently to make the book accessible to younger kids.
2. A line of Kenner toys.
3. A soundtrack. A soundtrack for a book.
4. A tie in video game. A tie in video game that was a huge deal. For a book.

I honestly can't think of any other book with a tie in video game like this.

Unpopular opinion: Shadows of the Empire is a middling-quality Star Wars book. At best.

Quote

This goes to the heart of the problem of perception.
On a factual level, yes, this is true. But there is no objective way of describing the act of sex. I could describe it as making love. I'm here because my parents shared a moment of love. I believe LinkSkywalker's choice of description attempts to cut through illusion and bias and describe the act for what it is. However, 'because our parents fucked' falls into the same language trap - it is clearly designed to cause a particular effect, and is therefore biased like any other description, and my description of making love would therefore be no more subjective than his. There is no way to describe anything for what it is. Such is the weakness of language, and the importance of perception.

My point is that a mechanical act took place. Human semen fertilized a human egg. Any emotional or moral or spiritual trappings that surrounded this occurrence are irrelevant when answering the question "why are we here?" I suppose such additional specificity might be relevant if we were discussing why an individual person is 'here,' but we're talking about humanity as a whole here. Or, at least, the audience of this post as a whole. Specifics have no place.

Also, are you actually advancing a cartesian subjectivist view of reality? It's true that perception plays a larger role in human communication than we commonly like to acknowledge. If I write a sentence and ten people read it, then there will be 11 different thoughts and feelings about that sentence. But if we refuse to even attempt to find a consensus on basic facts because "such is the weakness of language," then discussions are going to be really boring and difficult.

I presume we've all seen the LoZ cartoon series at this point. "ExcuUuUuUuse me princess" and whatnot. Chip cheerio. Thirteen episodes of pure fuckin' awful. Even as a die hard fan of both LoZ, and '80s cartoons, it's hard to find anything redeemable in that show. There's a fucking water park episode for crissakes.

Anyway, yesterday I was bored, and I decided to write an ad hoc sort of pitch / story bible / whatever for the way I would write the Legend of Zelda show. I set two limitations. First, the show has to have a status quo to return to at the end of each episode. This isn't progressive storytelling, this is children's TV in the 80. Second, the show can only be based on Zelda 1 and 2. No Link to the Past, or anything following it. Just the first two games.

I skipped over a lot of details that weren't immediately necessary for creating the structure of the show. Like Gannon's "colorful lieutenants." But I'm curious to know what folks think.

Protagonists:

Link. A 12 year old boy who fends for himself in the lost woods. Lackadaisical, but brave (to the point of brashness), and loyal to a fault.
Zelda: A 14 year old princess of Hyrule. Smart, well read, and clever. She's serious minded, and often has a biting quip on the tip of her tongue. She is deeply compassionate, but doesn't show it very well because she has a hard time telling the difference between fixing a problem, and showing that you care.
Impa: A hunched, elderly woman who serves as Zelda's tutor and guardian. She is wise, and surprisingly spry for an older gal. Spry enough to accompany Zelda and Link on their adventures, though she usualy has to leave fighting or other strenuous activity to the youngsters.
"The Old Man." A 90+ y/o Knight of Hyrule who long ago retired. He lives in a cave deep in the lost woods. He is wise, and skilled. His home serves as the protagnoist's "base of operations," and the Old Man himself serves as Link's teacher. He's extremely skilled, but too frail to accompany the other three on adventures.
The Queen of Hyrule. A temperate ruler. She has the same cleverness that Zelda does, but it is tempered by age and experience. She's in her mid-40s now, but she's still capable with a sword and shield, knows some magic, and is an excellent ruler. Will spend most of the series chained to a wall.

The Antagonists:

Gannon: Full on pig-monster Gannon. However, he rarely serves as the main antagonist of an episode. He's got sort of a Dr. Claw thing going on, where we rarely see him. We see his chair from behind, or we see his silhouette in shadows. Occasionally we might see a closeup of his eyes or something. But only rarely will he really come out in full. Gannon is too ruthless and evil for a kids show. So the less we see him, and the less he says, the more can be left to the imagination.

The Lieutenants: Gannon will have between 4 and 6 lieutenants. These will be colorful characters, analogous to the bosses of a dungeon. Each episode will have one of these characters serving as the primary antagonist. They present a plan to Gannon, and Gannon says "go do your thing," and then the episode is about how that antagonist attempts to carry out Gannon's will. Each lieutenant will have their own visual and tactical style. In a way, these lieutenants will represent different kinds of episodes the show can have. For example, one might be a wizard. If the wizard is the bad guy in this episode, then the episode will be about magic. That sort of thing.

This setup allows Gannon to remain intimidating. If he's the main antagonist in each episode, then by necessity he fails in each episode. If he fails in each episode, then he's not a scary bad guy. He's a bumbler. Using a rotating roster of antagonists allows each of them to remain a little more intimidating as well. None of them are getting beaten EVERY week. Just one in every 4-6 weeks.

It also gives you a good amount of variety to work with in the show. Enough that things aren't predicatble, but not so much that you're just doing monster-of-the-week stuff.

The Status Quo:

Gannon has taken over Hyrule Castle, is holding the Queen hostage, and is in the process of subjugating all of the lands of Hyrule around him. Zelda, Impa, and Link are hiding out with The Old Man, and attempting to thwart Gannon's evil plans, free the Queen, and restore her to the throne.

Recurring Setpieces:

"The Villain meeting:" Will often happen early in an episode, and perhaps again at the end. In Gannon's dark throne room is a table where all the lieutenants sit. One of them stands and tells Gannon part of their plan. Gannon gives them permission to go forward. This is a good place to develop the lietenants' personalities as they banter in a room together. The queen is also chained up here, so she can shout things like "You'll never get away with this!"

"Study" Both Link and Zelda are very young, and study under their two elders. The Old Man teaches both of them how to fight, and Impa teaches both of them how to be wise and use magic.

Rule:
No character may be captured (even briefly) more than one time per season. Characters who are kidnapped should work to rescue themselves. At the very least, they should meet their rescuers halfway. For example, if Zelda is captured, perhaps she has to find a way to light a signal fire to let Link know where she is being held. She doesn't simply sit still and wait for Link to come get her.

Rule:
While the show will always return to its status quo, each episode should see some small growth or plot advancement. Characters should NOT learn the same lessons over and over again. When they learn a lesson, future episodes should reflect that. There should also be small plot advancements from time to time.

Season 1 Episode Ideas:

Ep1: Setup episode. The long seige of Hyrule Castle ends as the Queen surrenders so that her people within the walls will not go hungry. Zelda and Impa slip out the back way, and flee into the lost woods. They are pursued and ambushed. Link, scavenging nearby, hears the commotion and comes to help them. Impa leads them to the Old Man (whom she remembers from when he used to be a Knight). The Old Man takes them in, and is impressed with Link's bravery. Gives him a sword, and offers to teach him to use it.

Ep2: As an immediate reaction to the first episode, the villains send their best tracker to find the escaped princess. In the end, they manage to stay hidden, but Impa almost botches the whole thing by being too overprotective of Zelda. She learns that she has to allow Zelda to face danger, or they'll never be able to get anything done.

Ep3. After only a few weeks of training, Link has gotten cocky about his fighting abilities. He does something brash, and gets himself captured. He feels deeply ashamed and hopeless. Has a brief meeting with the queen, as they are both prisoners. She gives him some sage advice, and he manages to escape. Tries to help the queen out as well, but can't. Promises to come back for her. Zelda and Impa sneak into the castle using some secret passages, and help link find the way out. There should be some payoff where link succeeds by understanding his own limits.

Ep ~7: One of the antagonists poisons a river. The poison turns anyone who drinks from it into sludge monsters with the mission of finding Zelda. Wording is specifically "Until Zelda is in Gannon's dungeon, or until she is no more!" or something like that. Zelda struggles with what it means to be a ruler. She solves this problem by drinking from the river and becoming a Sludgebeast. Since she is "no more," the spell is broken, and she and all the peasants revert to normal.

Ep23 and 24: Season finale 2 parter. The Queen escapes from Gannon's clutches. The protagonists are hopeful that they can really drive Gannon from the land soon. Good times! Woo! But, tired of his underling's failures, Gannon decides to address the problem of these meddlesome protagonists for the first time. Episode 23 ends with Zelda being captured by Gannon. The bulk of episode 24 is a failed attempt to rescue Zelda. The episode ends with the Queen offering herself as a prisoner exchange. Gannon accepts, because it's obviously the better option for him, and he thinks the Queen is doing it out of pure sentimentality for her daughter. The Queen has a brief moment with Zelda, and tells her that she's actually doing it because she believes in Zelda's ability to overthrow Ganon. After all, Zelda has been leading the resistance to Gannon for months now. The queen believes that it's better for Zelda to be in charge than it is to change leaders in the middle of a war. Zelda manages to slip the queen of MacGuffin which allows Zelda & the Queen to magically communicate sometimes, which will change the status quo slightly for season 2.

You don't have magic. But a wizard appeared and shouted "FUCK YOUUUUUU!" then billions upon billions of money appeared in your bank account. It's unclear why the wizard did this. Maybe he confused you for someone else, and he's from a giga-dimension where having money is a tragic thing. You don't know.

All you know is that you are now in possession of more money than you know what to do with.

How did I not see this thread before?

Lets see, where to start. Oh! I know.

"The Avengers" is a reprehensibly shitty movie.

Because of magic, you have billions upon billions of money at your disposal.

What do you do?

I never really got into those. They felt too unresponsive to me.

That's a whole big load of questions. You could start several threads based on that. I'll try to tackle it adequately.

Quote from Servo

Well You know I have been searching answer for this question for a long time its not like I don't have an answer to it I do ... the thing is everyone has their own answer to this question ... their own version

Why are we born ... many will answer it in few lines or may in length

"Why are we here?" The answer is disappointingly simple. "Because our parents fucked."

That's really it. The only reason this question feels like a mystery is because we want to believe that our existence has some deeper meaning, but it doesn't. There is no hidden purpose out there for us to find. Life is exactly what you see in the day-to-day. Anything more that people imagine is just an attempt to feel more cosmically important than we really are.

I dunno about you, but I prefer it this way. How awful would it be if there was some kind of pre-determined plan or purpose for our existence? Some hidden agenda that our entire species was working towards without our knowledge? We'd be pawns.

The truth is that life has whatever purpose we give to it. Nothing more, and nothing less. And I find that beautiful and uplifting.

Quote

but this question can not be answered without answering some other question...

What you wanna do in your life?

That's a question with a lot of answers. My life, after all, is everything I will ever know or experience. I suppose it is important to me that through all of the things I do and experience, I always act in an ethical and considerate manner. I also want to focus my energies on self-directed creative work. That's paramount to me. I want to play games and watch movies and eat good food. I want to connect with other people, be enriched by them and hopefully be a positive impact on their lives as well.

Quote

And why you wanna do it?

Because those are the things that make me happy.

Quote

What would you do If you reach there?

Probably come up with some more things to strive for. Life is struggle. If you're not struggling towards something, you're not living. You're stagnant.

Quote

What is your philosophy of life ?

I don't really understand this question. If we're talking about "what is the philosophy that governs your life," then there are about 10,000 of those. I once wrote an essay entitled "The Philosophy of Gift Giving," and briefly worked on drafting an entire series of articles called "The Philosophy of World of Warcraft." There's really no single philosophy which governs my entire life, save perhaps the fact that life isn't as important as we want it to be.

Life is metaphysically meaningless. Metaphysical meaning is for suckers. Create meaning for yourself, and don't be a douchebag about it.

Quote

What would you do If you become rich?

If we're talking "fabulously wealthy, wish-fulfillment" kind or rich, then I've always wanted to stage elaborate productions of reality-bending weirdness. Like flash mobs, but with a bottomless pit of money.

Like, I dunno, build a giant Majora's Mask moon and have some helicopters take it into the sky in the dead of night, so everybody wakes up with it hovering 300' above their town. Or some shit like that.

Of course if we're talking about a more feasible sort of wealth, I would like to have my needs securely taken care of. I've always wanted to really fix up my 1994 Ford Escort real nice. Make it look like it was fresh off the production line, and add in a bunch of odd little features to make it super comfortable. I'd love to pay to take classes in all sorts of professions, like carpentry and plumbing. I'd love to buy a small house in the city somewhere, get really creative with how I decorate it. Build a D&D room in the basement, a sex room in the attic, that sorta thing. It'd be great to support all the artists and creatives that I love, help them to do more of their work. And I'd love to have a fully decked out workshop where I could make things. Mmmmm. Good times.

Quote

In these question you will see a bigger picture your true answer to the question Why are we born?

Because our parents fucked each other.

Quote

Now many people give this answer life is for enjoyment ... and that They have a right to live happily so they shud live life to fullest and honestly I don't disagree people have full right to live they want to...

But I just fail to understand one thing .... How can I enjoy and live life to fullest when I know that So many innocent little children sleep hungry everyday and many die every year ... How Do I enjoy when I know women have to sell their chastity to feed them ... How Do I enjoy when I know young girls are kidnapped and how they fear for their safety ... How Do I enjoy when I know out there that in this world children are enslaved into slavery .....

Life isn't for enjoyment. Life isn't 'for' anything. As stated above, life has no metaphysical meaning. The world can be a horrific place, there's no denying that. We must do what we can, but we are individuals. We can't take the whole weight of all the world's evils onto our shoulders.

Personally, I just try to do what I can in my immediate vicinity. When I think I can help, I try to help. I think about my responsibility to make the world a better place within my means. Nobody can end homelessness, but anybody can keep a few spare rolls of socks in their car to hand out to homeless folks they meet. (Socks are really good, by the way. One of the most needed, and under-donated items).

I'm far from perfect. But I try, and I struggle to do better. Nobody is required to forgo their own wants and desires for the sake of curing the world of evil. Just do what you can within your means.

It's amazing how much you improve if you just try to improve consistently. Day-to-day the difference isn't noticeable. But after just a year or two the difference weill be larger than you'd ever believe it could be.

Shadows of the Empire was crazy difficult after the first couple levels.

Donkey Kong 64 was a pretty tame game overall, until you actually tried to get through the last hour or so of the game. Requiring you to master two arcade classics, then overcome amped up versions of those older games, THEN requiring you to go through that crazy fuckin' gauntlet of a final boss fight? It was a god damned nutty game.

I think I only managed to finish that last boss fight a single time.