Posts by Shrukan

    Chapter 3- Remembrance

    I can remember a story about my mother so long ago. A strong and wise mother, who knew everything. She taught me what to do as I grew up; to distinguish from good and evil; what to say, how to walk, everything.

    But something else I can remember is this.


    * * *

    A frightened Scalix woman, carrying a child in her hands, was dashing through the woods. She panted for air as she leapt over logs and bushes, fueled by fear.

    She sat down in the woods as her child called. She sighed and put the child next to her breast, letting it feed on her milk.

    ?Shh? Shh?It?s ok.? She smiled and rubbed the child?s head.

    Another Scalix male came by, holding onto an axe behind his head. The woman was frightened, but held her baby close to her.

    ?Don?t worry,? he said, ?I am no threat??

    The woman sighed and stood up, her baby still feeding. ?I?m sorry. I mistaken you for another.?

    ?What are you doing in the woods alone?? The man scratched his beard.

    ?I was running from? another Scalix.? She said. Her breathing began to pick up again. ?I had run away from the one I married. However, recently, he began to threaten me with death over this child. I simply could not let him have this child and kill him.?

    ?Shh? Shh?? The man turned around. ?Come to my home.?

    She followed the man, rubbing onto her child?s head. She smiled and kept a close eye out, just like a mother should.

    Entering upon the house, she sat on the couch and gently picked up her child, and put him over her shoulder, tapping his back.

    ?How old is he?? The man asked.

    ?Not more than a fortnight old.?

    ?That?s young? And you still dashed that fast?? The man laughed. ?Such a brave woman?? He paused and tried to think of another question to ask. ?What?s his name??

    ?Shrukan.? She smiled as she placed Shrukan back in his blankets. ?What?s your name??

    ?Argath and yours??

    ?Misura.?

    ?Misura? Such a lovely name.?

    ?Do you live alone here??

    ?I?ve lived alone here for awhile. No one visits but a few friends.?

    ?Must be lonely.? Misura said, rocking Shrukan back and forth to sleep.

    ?It can, but I?ve grown used to it.? Argath paused and looked around. ?You can sleep in a guest room if you wish.?

    ?Thank you??

    * * *

    My mother was taken into my stepfather?s guest room. He asked if she wanted it spend another day before she left, but she never did. They found out they had similar dislikes and likes, and over the next few months, they got married. She was considered divorced if she ever left the home more than a month, so she felt relieved that she was no longer married to my father.

    Argath and Misura were with me for the longest of times. They watched over me, taught me, and helped me grow. Misura taught me the basics of living, to crawl, then walk, and explore. Argath helped me with more Scalix basics, learning to fly and glide through the air.

    I was happy as a child, until just a few days shy after my eighth birthday? There I found on the floor, cold and dead, was my mother. She laid on the ground her eyes closed and her chest not moving.

    I cried for days after. The funeral was worse. People aligned themselves around her casket and prayed in our Scalix tongue. The minister of the church was present, rubbing his hands over the casket.

    ?Dear people of Gaydr? We mourn over the death of Misura Caelestis. A rare mother who deeply cared for anyone in Gaydr.? He said.

    I tried to control my tears, but I couldn?t. Eventually I was taken away, never ever seeing the end to the Funeral.

    Years passed by and I often left my house whenever Argath didn?t look. I traveled far from my house, not caring if I got attacked, and soared towards my mother grave. Every year I said a prayer and every year I noticed less and less flowers on her grave. Had people forgotten about her? They had and I couldn?t forgive a single one. She cared for them, and now they don?t give her the same love and mourning back.

    But now is not the time to mourn for her. I have other to mourn for. Argath and Nava, most likely killed by the Plague. My memory still is ailed by the image of Argath being stabbed in the chest by the blackest of swords.

    Yes. I will exact my revenge and kill the Plague! I?ll get revenge for those who shouldn?t have died!

    I'll hopefully get a workers permit in 4 months :glare:

    Hey, I've been wondering something for a while. In the beginning... what happened? What made you (whoever teamed up to make Zelda Temple) want to make this place? How did you do it? Add anything else you find suitable, but I just wanted to know. A little history never hurt ;)

    I first made Zelda Divine. I wanted to make it on my own. No one asked me too, and I thought it would be fun. ^^.

    Then Zelda Divine was failing and so I took the content on it and swap to Zelda Temple when Karashimu offered me it.

    Once again, same bold and underlining..

    STRUCTURING:

    - When a new person talks, it's a new paragraph as so:

    Remember, Shrukan is only 15 and he doesn't speak like a real Army Sargent. He is more calmer, but easily angered by a few minor details.

    Shrukan is a somewhat middle-ages character, so he knows nothing about guns and army talk.

    Got it?

    Here's how you should have made the post, seperating wise:

    Bold words: Spelling mistakes
    Underline: Not following character's guideline. See the character's topic.

    --------

    You could have expanded more on the area around Jak.

    Things along to that sort. You have this many mistakes in your post, grammar wise:

    Tenses: 2
    Spelling: 3
    Capitalization: 1
    Apostrophe use: 2
    Characters misuse: 2

    Try to improve on the next post.