Jak Immortalius

The Swords are too powerful. The armor is definitely too powerful for magic based characters. That's all I'll say for now, But I'll point out more when I'm not so god-damn lazy. ><

Weapons are still far too strong. Stop and Oblivious are too strong. Personality must explain in and out of battle features. Weaknesses are not acceptable. Personality is too short. Explain what he did when he ruled. Power is too strong for a child. Children don't have much control.

It's too late for me too edit it now.....cuz I waited to long. The edit button is gone.

Write it in a new post then.

Quote from Zeldamaster#1#1

It's too late for me too edit it now.....cuz I waited to long. The edit button is gone.

Actually, because you have a different username. Notice the one that posted it was "Zeldamaster#1", not Zeldamaster#1#1? o_O

Wait....I made this account.......

ZM is confused....O_o

Well i'll rewrite it...or paste then copy.....
Jak Immortalius:

Name: Jak Immortailius

Age: 23

Race: Irregular Superhuman Alien

Sex: Male

Hair:Black

Eyes:Silver

Weight: 89.2 IBS.

Height: 7'6"

Weapons: Two keyblades named Fenrir and Oblivion II.
Fenrir enables the user to attack with substantial power an strength.
Also enables the user to float and attack with strength.
Oblivion II enables to dart around a large area with speed.
The user can go as fast as light, but no faster.
When these weapons are put together the user can float at great speed.
And can attack fast with strength.

Armour: Jak wears two armours: Dragon scale Plated Titanium Alloy armour,
and A regular Steel armor.
The dragon plated Titanium Alloy armour is able to block all projectiles but not magic.
It is light armor so it slows Jak down a little bit. It blocks off as much as 30% of the damage.
Jak's regular steel armour acts as a backup when Jaks armour falls off.
It can't block projectiles or magic. It blocks 10% of the damage.

Strengths: Jaks strength are his magic abilities. He has two original magic abilities. (See the skills section below).

Weaknesses: His weakness is light and ice. The reason why is because he is a Fire and Dark person. (Fire due to the race, Dark due to Personaity). Jak can get hurt very critically when he is exposed to these elements.

Fire: 100
Ice: 25
Energy: 100
Dark: 34
Light: 100
Water: 97
Stop: 90
Oblivious: ??????
Jaks two special magics are his trademarks. They are Stop and Oblivious.
Stop can stop in mid-movement. It stops anything within a 75 feet radius.
Although it's useful it only stops an enemy for 15 seconds.
Oblivious is a super powered light and dark attack. It blasts a 100 feet radius with
light and dark powers. It does random damage.

Appearance: Jak's appearance is different from all the others.
He wears a silver shirt and silver shorts.
On his pants are a symbol. That symbol represents strength and freedom.
They are bunched shorts. On his shirt is another symbol.
It represents speed and courage. His hair is silver with black highlights.
His eyes are silver with a black ring around it.
His shoes are silver with both of the symbols on them.

Personality: Jak's personality is mysterious. Jak can be nice one minute, extremely mean and dangerous
the next. He has no friends because of his personality.
Jak is very optimistic, he thinks that everthing will go the right way if he just watches.
He will avoid women because he is very shy and stunned when he meets one. Jak will go berserk if he is hurt badly(meaning he will attack like crazy and miss a lot).
When he is calm he likes to sit and watch clouds untill dark.

Biography: Jak was born on June 28, 2007. He was a citizen of Vaaiticanieesh VI. When he was three his dad died of an evil dictator named Vaaitic. At five his mom died of another terrible dictator, Vaiticin. At 13, Jak became smart enough to take over Vaiticin. At 14 he fought him to the death. Jak won the fight and ruled Vaaitiacanieesh VI.
At 17 he was challenged by Vaatic the III to fight to the death. Jak won again. During his rein Jak rebuilt Vaaitiacanieesh VI and gave food to the poor. They were really happy with their new leader. At 18 Jak was challenged an evil dictator of another planet because he threatened to kill their planet. Jak fought for 4 months and lost. After the battle he was spared and he vowed never to come back to Vaaitiacaneesh VI. He fled to Earth. He crashed landed in Hyrule at the age of 23........