Ugh. I got yelled at once again. First was the counselor, Mrs. Druker. She yelled at me for Drama Class. Said I had to "memorize my lines or fail the class." Yeah. I'll study my ****ing lines when Dad is moaning in pain. Yeah. ****ing studying while my dad is BED BOUND REALLY IS GONNA WORK! Major "**** You" counselor. I hope you ****ing burn in hell.
Then I was supposed to talk to Mr. Brown, our Dean. I wanted to tell him my Spanish/Psychology teacher was being a ***** (actually I told him she was being mean, but same thing). All he said was: "Mrs. Bosma is the nicest teacher I have seen. Why do you think she got angry at you?" "Cause I was waiting for the bell to ring for lunch and I--" "--Well maybe you shouldn't have gotten up. If you were sitting down, you wouldn't get in trouble, right?" **** YOU MR BROWN! **** YOU! :angry2:
I have sugar problems! I need to get lunch ASAP or I start to shake bad and better yet, can't eat because I get an upset stomach!
I cried not once, but three times today. My body is so ****ing tired right now crying. I feel confused. Hell. I got to 3rd period 10 mins before class ended. I stuck in the office and the bathroom trying to calm down. I could feel my heart being encased in ice. I didn't know what to do at all.
I called home, back to mom. I wanted her. I wanted her to comfort me. I was so sad. I wanted someone who understood my situation.
The Staff all kiss each other's damn ass. They're the "perfect". I am the "obsolete" person. I'm the reason for my failing grades. Everything I do is my fault.
I feel like an utter failure. I feel like in Spanish, considering my brain can't seem to process words quick enough.
We had to translate what the teacher said yesterday: "Me gusta la clase de Estudios Sociales, porque me gusta la Historia." I only got "Me gusta la clase de..." even after she repeated it three times. I asked her to repeat it once more, slower, but all she said was: "No. Just move on."
She said: "I know some of you will not get it on the first few tries." Right now, I think I'll never understand Spanish. I can't process it quick enough. I feel like it was Geometry class all over again; I was an idiot in a crowd of geniuses.
Drama was no different. I was constantly yelled at to be louder on stage and I had to once again rely on a prompter. I guess I'm not ready for anything. I went for Drama for fun, not to be criticized to the point of breaking down. I told blademaster42 that I was going to cut his balls off because he told me to memorize my lines. I said: "You want to lose those set of balls huh?" I walked off and then spat out: "*****."
Life right now is not really good for me. I'm so sad right now, and mom doesn't know what to do. Should I be swapped to an alternative school (which sucks worse than my HS right now) or should I drop out. I really don't care now, considering my life is total shit right now.
I can't seem to get anyone to understand my life, and overall I feel so alone. Hardly any of my classes have my friends in them, and so I end up crying by myself, with no one to comfort me.
I wish for this pain to go away.
