Posts by Mythical

    In the beginning, I speak:

    Do not, really do not, feel offended or try to be. I'm only writing this in good of the community and as something people can take advice from. This is neither a manifestation of my arrogance, nor the codex from the avatar of supremacy.

    There are communities that would probably describe me as a bad writer, but I hope to be allowed to say that I have the little basics.

    These basics seem easy, but only with the utmost of alacrity can one master them in a short time. I learned writing by having two dictionaries beside me, as well as an online english dictionary for definitions and a thesaurus for expansion on my vocabulary. I learned a decent (basic) level of writing through this, so that's how I'm going to lay it down here. This is aimed to be useful for aspiring writers with a native other than english, but shouldn't be carelessly left by native writers.

    First of all, I'm going to give you these tips and this tutorial

    These tips on writing are copyrighted by Lysia, owner and administrator of Zelda Legends, and are not to be copied anywhere without her admission. However, the site is public and thus I may link you to it, saving me lots of time.

    It describes what one should already know, but is no vice when not knowing. Take a specific look at the speech paragraph in the writing tutorial. I bet not everybody knew what is being told here. I still find myself making mistakes on this part as well. Grammar, paragraph's, punctuation, tenses. It's all in the basics of the language you are writing your epic in. Doing this stuff wrong is the first issue that should be taken care of. It is what will immediately be caught by the reader's eye and can seriously spoil the experience you want to create.

    Now, you might think, what is that fool babbling about if everything is explained in those offsite tutorials and tips. Well, nothing much, really. As said again, when mastering the above tips by Lysia, you already have come a long way. But, that is not the only thing in writing. There are things that come to light after you know how to write in english perfectly. Surely you can write your text, but can you write literature?

    #1Detail
    imaging and fictitious reading

    Quote

    So, Link went into the dark castle to battle ganondorf. He climbed the high stairs and entered the last chamber to fight. In the end he won and saved Zelda from ganondorf.

    This is a description of a happening, without describing it. Seems quite maimed doesn't it? Seems like watering the plants without putting water in the can. Seems like showing up on this ball in your saturday-morning attire. Sure, you can pretend you're doing it right, but in the end it will get you nowhere. Of course you know about this, and ofcourse it is always stressed by basically any writer that it is o-so vital, but why do I keep seeing it not happening. Why do I keep seeing drabbles made out of complete dialog. Why do I encounter wince-inducing

    Examples are so useful:

    Quote

    Link stepped up the threshold of ganon's lair. The shadowy inside of the castle was lighted by bloodred, menacing torches. On the seemingly eternal stairs Link fought his way upwards, sweat being pulled from his body, fear being pushed in. The majestic tunes of the organ echoed within the tenebrous halls towering above the hero. His heartbeat felt like a drum beating hopelessly against the hollow powerful tunes coming from Ganondorf, the King of Evil........
    ........Zelda beckoned. This was the moment, his sword made him feel it as well. This was the moment to finally rid the world of the King of Evil. This were to be his last seconds. Link felt the power of the blade, and acceded to it's desires, to it's prophecy. In a perfect slash the master sword mauled the last spark of life from the limbless incarnation of Ganon, of evil. It was dead, it was over. Link emerged victorious on the scarred battlefield, and the lost spirit from the former scion of darkness was sealed away in the dark realm.

    Shall I continue? In essence the happening of the first example can be described extensively, without really adding much vital information that would make it different. Between the beginning and the ending I could practically add another thousand words. The only difference is that the second example actually reads like a story, instead of just a plain summary, because that's what the first quote is. Stories are made to entertain the reader and especially to create a vivid imagery within the reader of how you have pictured it. Adding little details like the sweating of link, the torches lighting the inner castle, the scarred battlefield. Such descriptions make the reader view the happenings like you pictured them. It is important, it is vital. It is self-proclaimed insolence towards your readers if not used. I'm not going to spend much more words on this. If one wants more details on how to make details in your story, just ask and I might elaborate, but before that, read the following paragraphs.

    #2Vocabulary
    About synonyms and annoying repeats
    Crucial, that is your vocabulary! Especially for non-natives in the english language, your vocabulary is part of the variation in a story. The ability to use synonyms of a word and to describe a scene perfectly to how you want it to be pictured, is vital for a good writer. There are little things as wince-inducing as reading how ''bad'' or ''evil'' ganondorf is five times in a paragraph. Words that could be replaced by e.g. Nefarious, malignant, cruel, merciless, flagitious, vile, malevolent. One could try to incorporate these into your story instead of just plain ''bad'' or ''evil''. This is not only good for the variation of your story but can also add to the specific imagery you want to create.

    Beware, the words I gave above as replacement for ''evil'' are similar, but they all have a slightly different meaning. Calling a bad cowboy ''malignant'' isn't always the best choice to go with. Always look up the definition of new words in your vocabulary before trying to use them in your story. This way you can use them where they are best needed and can avoid using them where they totally do not fit.

    Good sites to expand your vocabulary are:

    http://www.wiktionary.org Has a lot of definitions. On my meaning-of-the-words warning, you should usually go with the first definition of the word here, as the main usage of it.
    http://thesaurus.reference.com/ Thesaurus (synonym archive). Also contains a definition dictionary, but I find it less useful as wiktionary.

    Again, I can't stress enough how important it is to know the exact meaning of a word and rather also when to and when NOT to use it, before incorporating it into your story.

    #3The flow
    Is the story smooth to read?
    What makes a story fluid to read? What gives a sense of continuity, or smooth reading. What creates tension, compassion or revulsion among the readers in your dramatic scenes. It is what I call 'the flow', not the answer to life, the universe and everything, but just the flow of the story. With this kept in mind it is easier to accomplish your goals of writing a smooth story. If the story does not 'flow' the reader can easily become uninterested. For Instance, if it:

    # Is filled with bad punctuation or conjunction, (not grammatically wrong, but just, bad).
    # Has too long or too short sentences.
    # Comes with bad choice of words.
    # Contains annoying repeats.
    # there is more..

    These obstacles can become a serious hiccup and tend to destroy the tension and imagery for the reader. Your description can be as vivid as ever, but if formulated wrong, it can still make the reader having to read over it again, and this is what you need to avoid by all means. Avoid long sentences and over use of comma's. It is very hard to just tell how you can get your story to be smooth and imaginable. It has a lot of factors that you have to take care of. One of them is the above use of synonyms, but there are a significant number of others. It is difficult to plainly explain how to avoid them, as it's just something that appears in the sentences and should be corrected therefore. Trained writers will encounter less flowing problems in their stories, naturally. The best way to find errors in this area is by having someone else reading your story. You might have read this one paragraph over 10 times and this maims your opinion about it. Second opinions are always useful and a good Beta-tester will point out these hiccups so you can correct them.

    #4Metaphorical Language
    The art of your story
    Metaphors, they are one of the fundamental stones literature is being built on. I have to admit that I myself am quite unexperienced on this part. Thinking up metaphors yourself is hard and time consuming. Even though, if done right, if you can create the same image of a scene using a very beautiful metaphor, the smoothness and the compassion you create is far greater than with the abstract reality. I can better explain this with an example.

    Quote

    A boy sat on a smooth rock firmly established on a beach. The grainy sand covered along the straight of land, the ocean coming up the shore repairing any damage done to the beach by the visitors.

    This is a good sentence, not? Ofcourse it is, it is the way most of us, including me, would describe such a thing. There is little wrong with it, but what if we replace it with a nice metaphor.

    Quote

    A boy sat on a smooth rock firmly established on a beach. The grainy sand covered along the straight of land, the foaming water rolling out from its infinite dwelling forgiving any imperfections afflicted by the visitors.



    There is always room for improvement, and what do you say, doesn't this last sentence sound way better? This form of imagery is very advanced, and I only wish I could write a story, having mastered the art of the metaphors...

    #5Poetry in Prose
    Consonance, assonance and alliteration
    Poetry, is the art of linguistics. Your story, is also a piece of art in linguistics. Don't take my use of ''poetry'' as a word too seriously. I actually refer to the more obscure forms of rhyme that are often used in poetry, but also in high-level prose. Consonance, assonance and alliteration, I suppose we all have had it in school. While you have left it for bullshit back then probably, it is the one sinister element that can really add to the flow of your story. I'll start with another instance.

    Quote

    The young boy stared out into the sea. He sat on the rock not daring to touch the sand; he felt it deserved to be preserved from his interference. The sun lazily sank lower and lower, igniting the cotton candy clouds drifting drowsily in the distance and dying. The boy sighed, feeling the salty wind separating his clumped hair. They gently waived caressing the air for gratitude. The boy briefly closed his eyes and then reopened them to the fire-lit sky. He smirked. He felt calm; he felt at peace.

    The same boy again, now abused in my example of half rhyme. I think it should already be clear what is meant here in this instance; 'igniting the cotton candy clouds drifting drowsily in the distance and dying.' . There are more in the previous example, but this is a very vivid instance of alliteration. The writer (no, I didn't write this, I wish..) uses similar consonants in words of one sentence to create a smooth interaction between the words. The simplest are the consonants of adjective/adverb and nouns. But there is more. Take 'They gently waived caressing the air for gratitude'. The words 'gently' and 'gratitude' are conjoined because of their similar consonant, thus adding to the value of the sentence.

    Assonance and consonance are more rare to be found deliberately in prose, as the requirements for this rhyme are more demanding than for alliteration, and this usually does not wage up against the usability of words. If you are experienced you may find the oppurtunities to include this stylistic device into your prose as you encounter them, but for now, I will just lecture you. The example I gave has something of this as well. The following passage contains assonance (the repetition of vowel sounds in non-rhyming words); 'he felt it deserved to be preserved from his interference.'. Aside from that this is a nice metaphor, the usage of 'preserved' and 'deserved' is a very, very vivid example of assonance. Usually it is more obscure. Hell, most stories contain a hell of a lot of assonance. But it is usually not deliberate and thus does not add much to the experience.

    Consonance (Repetition of two or more consonants using different vowels) is essentially alliteration, but in this time the repeated consonant can be anywhere within the words, instead of only at the beginning, which is a requirement for alliteration. The same passage I used above; 'he felt it deserved to be preserved from his interference', contains consonance aside from assonance. I think you can make out what is being meant here.

    So much for now. I have to add that most of the described elements are acknowledged by me, but I am mostly unable to put them in practical use already. You need a wide, very wide vocabulary for them and I that's what I have not. In short, I know the theory, because I read a hell of a lot, but I can't really practically apply it already, unless I take a lot of time for my writing.

    I will be editing this post from time to time, because there is so much to tell! But alas, I'm not perfect. You WILL catch mistakes in my english writing this post. When you do so, point them out in the topic. It helps this thread in it's credibility as well as trains you to succesfully Beta-read your own stories for mistakes. It also helps me, as I'm good at making mistakes. beneath: that's why your name is Beta right? :P

    Tell me your mindwrappings about the drabble :)

    Wolfman

    Mourning at the moon’s light side,
    the drums of the night exchange grins.
    Sing a song on the wind, traveling tears,
    the night of the wolf, weeping to bide.

    Enthrall the vulnerable kind.

    Shadows relieved from conspicuity,
    wander the path of untold tragedy,
    defy the blackened,
    enshroud your timidity,
    destroy the legend,
    embrace your reality.

    Part ways with humanity, become one with the Wolf.

    Midna, one advice, and this is in no way related to your story. But you really shouldn't take critics so seriously. In this case it weren't even critics, but something you interpreted wrong and thus took as critics.

    This makes me restrain from giving Constructive Criticism to your story to help you improve it. And no, this is not me saying it's a bad story, not at all! I don't usually restrain from critisizing as I know that author's are open to it, but in this case I'd rather like to know if you want any help :)

    Keep up the story, I will be following it.

    The problem is, as a lot of Fanfiction.net users make, that other user's can't see your Live Previews..

    I managed to reach it by altering the link, but I only have so much knowledge with using ff.net myself..

    Most do not.

    Your link:http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3916820/1/

    About the prologue. I rather liked it, it is good to read and contains no wince-inducers. Looking forward to how you will fold this out. Try to avoid too much clich?s, though :).

    On the grammar, I advise you to watch the flow of your sentences, and know when to put a comma, dot or conjunction. One example of this:

    Quote

    This was, in the end. What lead to his downfall, and Dark Link's uprising.

    Would rather be: "In the end, this was what lead to his downfall, as well as Dark Link's uprising.

    Avoid using a conjunction and a comma at the same time. Totally takes the flow out of a sentence like this which should be taken as a whole and not interrupted by a dot.

    Keep up :)

    you should really consider to resize the pictures, not copy them straight from your 5 megapixel digital camera.

    I'm back on these forums, and well, whatever, I will start with a new picture, of me and my girlfriend behind my laptop.

    Teacher's way I yearn for the most, but it's not really either. Having one empty line between every line of speech is kind of overusing it. BUT you will ALWAYS have to start a new line when a NEW person speaks, so like if there already was another person speaking in the same line.

    It is also preferred to start a new line at every new beginning of speech after a part of description. But there doesn't need to be an empty space between it. In books this usually doesn't happen to save space.


    This is how I would do it. It depends on how the descriptive sentences relate to the speech. They do a lot in the last passage, which is why I put them after eachother. The "weak" and "So very weak" passages gain a lot in power when put alone on a line.

    Mythical, was that narcissism honestly necessary? I understand you are indeed one of the more intellectual beings present here, but attempts to push yourself up above us is also the wrong way of doing things, much like what Count Cutflaik just accomplished.

    Well perhaps you are right, but I did not mean that in a way I am more of a person than him, which I am not. I just felt I needed to say something drastic to prevent CC from continuing what he is doing. In my impression he acts like there are no moderators around...

    Liked for staying on topic <3

    Removed useless conflict, removed Theherolink_1's avatar for being offensive. I do not like to remove posts at all, but the other way around is to close the topic, which in this issue, is really not what I want.

    Continue please :D