Birth of Darkness

    I know I'm juggling like three fic's right now, but I like the way that this one is turning out here is the prologue:
    http://www.fanfiction.net/secure/live_pr…16820&chapter=1

    What the story is about: Dark Link, an abomination, seeks vengeance on Link, a direct descendant of the Hero of Time, can light truly win? Its around Twilight Princesses time. I uploaded it to Fanfic.net because the formatting isn't messed up, and its easier to read. Please read, and rate. As i continue the story i will update this, to tell you when to check back next.

    Not here anymore - Mr. Goron.

    The problem is, as a lot of Fanfiction.net users make, that other user's can't see your Live Previews..

    I managed to reach it by altering the link, but I only have so much knowledge with using ff.net myself..

    Most do not.

    Your link:http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3916820/1/

    About the prologue. I rather liked it, it is good to read and contains no wince-inducers. Looking forward to how you will fold this out. Try to avoid too much clich?s, though :).

    On the grammar, I advise you to watch the flow of your sentences, and know when to put a comma, dot or conjunction. One example of this:

    Quote

    This was, in the end. What lead to his downfall, and Dark Link's uprising.

    Would rather be: "In the end, this was what lead to his downfall, as well as Dark Link's uprising.

    Avoid using a conjunction and a comma at the same time. Totally takes the flow out of a sentence like this which should be taken as a whole and not interrupted by a dot.

    Keep up :)

    .. _ .. /~_0_~\ .. _ ..
    -=!~||~!=-
    defy the blackened, enshroud your timidity, destroy the legend, embrace your reality.

    -=!~|I am from beyond your God|~!=-

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