What are you thinking right now?

Remember guys when HCA closed? When the Great deku tree Forums died? When The Sacred Realm decided no more? When Zelda Gamers went bye-bye? When one morning the Anubis Boards was no more?

Remember Gamercrossfier, Twilight of Heroes and the refugee communities starting after the fall of beloved communities because the community couldn't deal with the idea of losing a home, it is happening again to another community and while I am not a core member I can't help to feel bad for it.

I didn't post that status, by the way.

So, my last status from last year was when I finally decided to join the place. I knew of it for years. Heck, it was around before I moved to Australia. Steady growth and the owner a familiar face everywhere. If there is a board I would like to take as inspiration to make ZC big, this one would be one of them. There was always something going on the boards and advertising in every place I visited, in addition I saw the owner also chilling in other communities, varied ones. This guy's life was dedicated to the place. You could feel the big care for it.

Here is the shameful part, if he hadn't send a massive email to advice of this, I would probably wouldn't had noticed in time. I planned to return and get more involved with wober and other communities, but I have had things preventing me from taking a more active role online. If I cannot be online here in my community as much as I think is the ideal to, then I will dedicate much less to the rest.

I visited a couple of times and I had good times. people were friendly to me and I spoke my mind as I do, in some threads. I joined a few contests but a part of me is sad that in all the many years I was online I didn't try to get involved and now it is closing.

The owner at first basically just posted the new you see in the advice all over it. The rest of the staff didn't knew what was going on so they all panicked and thought it was a hacker impersonating the admin. Staff was revoked and a few other changes occurred but eventually it was cleared up that it was real. A decision had been made and there is no turning back.

Honestly, I couldn't ask J to change his mind, I know I wouldn't post as much as I have. I was a visitor that had a good time and good memories, but I so well known what is like to be part of the core. To dedicate thousands of your posts in a community you feel safe and call home. To make those strong bonds. I know how much this hurts for them. It makes sad.

I think, honestly, what attracted me the most to wober was not the community in itself but to know it was the project of that friendly person. Since he always was making silly jokes and greeting people, I think many of us missed just how much managing the community meant to him. He reminded me of another person I knew who also would worry sick about her community well being, trying to come with contest ideas, with how to increase the activity if it started to wane, in how to control the drama spilling around. It was an active community but only a fraction of the current one. Dealing head on with this for years takes a huge toll on you. My friend just obeyed her whim and deleted the forum in one go, this guy here, was selfless enough to fight that desire and just put the notification. He could have 'handled' it better, as people still felt disrespected by him cutting ties even with the staff, but considering that he probably was not in the state of mind to deal with it and just how easier would had been for him just to delete everything and be gone in smoke, he gave their community more than enough time to learn of the situation and migrate to where they will.

Everybody is worried about the community that they seem to miss what this mean for the owner. To reach the point of closing a project you defended multiple times, even when other people offered you money for it, a project so dear to you that you invested so much time and effort, it means something really cracked inside. it could had been sudden to us but it was something that must had kept him awake at night.

I've seen it over and over in the past, owners loving their projects doing so much for it and getting burn so badly that they destroy everything linked to it, instead of wings they got chains. Guys, this is one of my mental locks. It is why I get scared of the idea of aiming to make ZC as big as ZU as soon as possible. I don't want to pressure ourselves to the point of driving us mad and hating something we were meant to love. Zelda Cavern must be nurtured with love and it will grow slowly but steadily. I apologise I have been utterly 'chill' but in order to give you my best I also need to find again my own rock. I have now all the time but being unemployed is seriously mining everything else. Couple that to dealing with some personal matters that have come one after another this year and well. I am not good hiding when I am feeling crappy.

I guess this is part of why this resonates with me, it is calling back a lot of feelings. Not just about online communities but of the owner himself. I feel bad I never tried to reach out to him. As usual I never started conversations but he did try to greet me anywhere. It is the kind of people you think you know but then you realise you really know nothing about. It sucks. I just wonder for how long he was cheering everyone else while feeling bad on the inside. I feel like maybe I could have done a bit more for him.

A lot of this is probably just me projecting my own feelings over his own words. I am pretty good at doing that. I left him a message on the community and he gave it a like. I teared right there. He gave me a signal that he actually came across it. I really do wish him the best to gain back his peace and be the kind of person he wants to be.

I decided against making a whole thread for this. I don't even know why am I posting it here instead of livejournal or something, I guess it is that stupid wish for connections that makes me hope someone recognises where the screenshot is from, while the other part of me is concerned that is stupid idea that will make me feel like crap if it happens or not. Same reason I am not linking directly or typing the name here (although you can figure things out with the screenshot) so google doesn't pick it up straight away. Also out of respect for J, who called out scavengers coming to advertise to his place I won't mention Zelda Cavern there on the days it has left.