LOZ: Phantom Hourglass Parody (Spoilers OH NOEZ)

  • ((I'm doing this while playing PH. Sue me!))

    Prologue- A Ghostly Ship

    *cough!*

    ???: Ahem... I will now tell a vast and wonderful story about a fair legend that happened not long ago... Once there was a pirate queen called Tetra. She rode on a vast ship with a bunch of handsome pirates. When she came to one little island, she noticed a small boy garbed in green... Ah skipping the vast majority of the really cool stuff that went on between the island and... Ah yes there... Ack... Stupid paper... Move! Anyways, she became a princess, got captured by an evil wizard named Ganondoof... Ganondorf sorry and was saved by the young lad! Well Link! How did you like my paper cut outs?

    Link: *snore*

    Niko: ACK! I spent fricken forever going through Tetra's diaries and cutting out pages for it! I wish someone would like it.

    Tetra: OI! LINK! *shakes Link up* Wake up! You and Niko were supposed to be on lookout for that ghost ship!

    Link: *continues to sleep, ignoring Tetra.*

    Tetra: What a hero!

    Pirate: SHIP AHOY!

    Ghost ship randomly appears. You can hear the song "Happy Happy Joy Joy' in the background on the ship before slowly turning off.

    Tetra: Burrr... Using that song makes me really chilly. Ah well! Time to get onto this so called Pirate ship!

    Tetra jumps onto the ship, where randomly she screams as lightning strikes in the background. The ship slowly moves off, but Link wakes up and rushes towards the ship. He dangles from his left hand, trying to pull himself up, before falling into the ocean below.

    Niko: Think we should help the lad?

    Pirate: We used the last flotation device on you last week, and it would ruin the storyline.

    Niko: Ah yes.... Let's go raid Tetra's dairy!

    Pirates: PARTY!

  • I was going to use more humor in the next chapter anyways. XD

    Chapter One- Temple of the Ocean King

    Fairy: Oh good you are up! I was tired of you talking about wetting yourself.

    Link: I said no thing!

    Celia: My name is Celia! I am the fairy of.... wait. where am I?

    Link: O.o;;

    Celia: Anyways, Grandpa wants to see you!

    --

    Grandpa: What up dawg?

    Link: O_O;;

    Grandpa: Fo Shizzle! You want to help your friend Tetra right? I can readz mindz! *rubs forehead hard and looks at Link* You wet yourself at night!

    Link: What is up with people and my bladder problems?! >(

    Grandpa: To help your friend Tetra and get her from that groovy Ghost Ship, you need to drink beer!

    Link: But I'm under the age limit!!

    Grandpa: Sorry. I was intercepted by aliens.

    Link: Aliens.... o.o;; Ok.

    Grandpa: Go to the Temple of the Ocean King and save Linebeck.

    ---

    Linebeck: *jumps up and down like a stupid child* Mommy!!! I want out!!

    Link: Dude! I'm coming!

    Linebeck: NO!

    Link: O_o

    Linebeck: You need to be careful. This Temple sucks the life out of anyone who enters.

    Link: Then how come you are not dead yet?

    Linebeck: Easy, smart guy! I'm on a safe zone platform! I'm safe for the time being. But if I don't eat or drink soon, my body will die anyways! Strike that switch!!

    Link: *runs and strikes switch, leaving Linebeck to run out and escape.*

    Linebeck: Take this key! It'll unlock many mysteries. *Twilight Zone music plays*

    Link: Odd... Whatever!

    *unlocks door and finds map*

    ---

    Linebeck: Awesome. So we got us a map.

    Grandpa: Fo shizzle! You found a map! Hey... Its a bit flaky. Gross. Rub it!

    Link: *rubs and finds a symbol on an island to the due south*

    Linebeck: I bet you can find some good treasure there!

    Link: Maybe something to help get onto the Ghost Ship and save Tetra!

    Linebeck: Come on kid... I need someone on the ship to help me clean.

    Link: I am no maid!

    Linebeck: Then I guess you and your little quest is over.

    Link: *Link has learned to be a maid! Forget which of the following?:

    -Lazy?
    -Warrior Hero
    -Ultimate Strike
    -Strong and Gallant!

    POOF! Link has forgotten how to be Lazy. Link has learned to be a maid!*

    Ah crap!

    Linebeck: Come on kid! There's a lot of poop on the poop deck!

  • You hurt my feelings..:'(i was just saying because almost no one has this game here...i was just saying to wait a little...and you are spoiling some of the story thats why=3

    Exactly why the title says "SPOILERS OH NOEZ". :P
    In other words, stay out... if you do not wish to be spoiled. :wwgdorf:

    Personally, I prefer to be spoiled... even though, afterwards, I'm hating myself for doing it and thinking, "Argh, why did I look at spoilers??". Heh.

    LMAO
    Nice story so far, Shrukan. Looking forward to the next chapters. :)



    BIG thanks to Shrukan for the Darkrai sig and Fan banner thing!!
    -Also known as Stelie (in Relosc), and Steelblast (a Decepticon).-

    Quote from Muigi

    [Today 01:46 PM] Muigi: Godzilla could kick that beached-whale monster's ass anyday.

  • You hurt my feelings..:'(i was just saying because almost no one has this game here...i was just saying to wait a little...and you are spoiling some of the story thats why=3

    I have it. :P


    Anyways, Shrukan, Good job, I ROFL'd at it. I like it!

    ROFLCOPTER. =3

    We all have a phantom, a "mirror image". It looks back at you each time you look into a mirror.

    Will yours consume you, or will you triumph in the light.

    phanlinksig.png