Birth of Darkness

Mr. Goron · November 27, 2007 at 11:17 PM

I know I'm juggling like three fic's right now, but I like the way that this one is turning out here is the prologue:
http://www.fanfiction.net/secure/live_pr…16820&chapter=1

What the story is about: Dark Link, an abomination, seeks vengeance on Link, a direct descendant of the Hero of Time, can light truly win? Its around Twilight Princesses time. I uploaded it to Fanfic.net because the formatting isn't messed up, and its easier to read. Please read, and rate. As i continue the story i will update this, to tell you when to check back next.

TheChozoKnight · November 28, 2007 at 1:38 AM

Link works, but sends me to a login page.

How bout you post it here, that would be easier.

Mythical · December 1, 2007 at 3:17 AM

The problem is, as a lot of Fanfiction.net users make, that other user's can't see your Live Previews..

I managed to reach it by altering the link, but I only have so much knowledge with using ff.net myself..

Most do not.

Your link:http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3916820/1/

About the prologue. I rather liked it, it is good to read and contains no wince-inducers. Looking forward to how you will fold this out. Try to avoid too much clich?s, though :).

On the grammar, I advise you to watch the flow of your sentences, and know when to put a comma, dot or conjunction. One example of this:

Quote

This was, in the end. What lead to his downfall, and Dark Link's uprising.

Would rather be: "In the end, this was what lead to his downfall, as well as Dark Link's uprising.

Avoid using a conjunction and a comma at the same time. Totally takes the flow out of a sentence like this which should be taken as a whole and not interrupted by a dot.

Keep up

Kyde May 8, 2019 at 3:08 PM