How did you meet your soulmate?

Quote from alakazam

How did you meet your soulmate? Feel free to share your story in this thread. I'm looking forward to reading them.

As for me, this is how I met my soulmate:

I feel you. I haven't had a girlfriend since Feburary. Then I made a stupid decision that I regret that ended up in us not being able to talk anymore.

Quote from alakazam

I don't get it.

Quote from alakazam

That's a "meme" character that is famous for expressing this reaction: http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/are-you-kidding-me

I know the meme, I just didn't get the joke. :p

Yet to find one , I don't know I have had two engagements broken guess I was never into it . They were arranged engagements, I did not break them but something just come up lol I don't mind though as I said I was never into it, although I kinda liked my second fiancee , Shu-chan ahh she was like a fresh breeze in morning, her smile could melt rocks but yeah something came up and before I could really fall it was over lol , I don't mind though .

But now 27, I know I'll be getting married in span of next two years or so , dunno with whom but there is only one thing I know relations work on mutual sacrifice and needs tolerance and yes I'm willing to do it ......

Wow I'm an Angel ** cough**** cough**
** cough**** cough**** cough**** cough**** cough**** cough**** cough**** cough**** cough**** cough**** cough**** cough**** cough**

Live is All about giving, the only thing you take is joy in giving!!!!!!!!!!

If after reading this any girl want to form a relation with me feel free to do it, I'm single !!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA **cough**** cough**
** cough**** cough**** cough**** cough**** cough**

Quote from Kaynil

I'll try to explain:
Alakazam says he hasn't met a soulmate.
You say "I feel you." then talk about how you had a girl til February. That wording makes it sound like being in a relationship is not much of an issue for you.
Some people have never even been close to become part of requited love, for them that "I feel you" sounds like mockery because no, it is definitely not the same situation. The meme pretty much is a spot on reaction. :XD:

Ohm I thought not having someone since Feburary was a problem. It's probably just my teenage mind getting to me, though.

@Kaynil yes please but for importantly find a girl for me to marry .. It is you duty as my friend

I did not have yet. I am only 10 years old. Just try understanding.

Sent from my LG-D686 using Tapatalk

If you're looking for someone to marry/be in a relationship with, it's highly unlikely you'll find the 'right' one. There is no 'right one', marriage is just a man made concept to establish control in my cynical opinion.

If you want to live with your friend that you love, and no one else. If you meet a person that becomes a very good friend, you may start liking them intimately and a relationship will grow on friendship with respect. If you want to get married, get married.

I don't believe in a soul, so there are no soulmates. I love my wife with everything I have. 'Wife' is just a word that I don't think captures what I feel. It's a word goverments use to organise who lives with who. I don't need God's approval, nor the government's witness to stay commited, because I want to stay committed, I choose to stay committed because it's out of the question living with anyone else.

She's been an extremely good friend,who I respect greatly and who came into my life at the right time. Would there be others out there in the 6 billion people in the world who could've formed a bond as strong... possibly, that's a big number. There's no perfect person, I do not believe in fate nor soulmates, just good luck. @Kaynil got to me first and I don't care about labels, never have, never will.

Let's keep it real however,

It's like Tim Minchin sang: "If I didn't have you, then I'd probably have... somebody else".

It's funny how similar my story is to Kaynil's, because I, too, met my significant other on a Zelda forum (of all places).

I had known her for a couple of years before we started talking frequently. On the Zelda forum, we just happened to strike up a conversation. It really wasn't about anything special either, just that we recognized each other and about how we were both doing. After that initial message we just kept talking and talking. We really had a lot of chemistry between us as it turned out.

It went on like that for a while, but I had to see what she was like in real life. I had romantic feelings for people online before that. They had one thing in common that made them impossible: the distance.

So like every other 20-year old in my shoes, I booked a flight to the other side of the Atlantic ocean to see if we were compatible in real life. Not being compatible in real life really was one of my biggest fears and one of the reasons why I said no to her the first time she asked me to be in a relationship with her. Fortunately, the chemistry was also there in real life, and I quickly booked another trip to the United States to visit her as soon as I got home. It really was a wonderful experience to be with her, even though we lived really far apart. After that summer in 2010 I was pretty much broke, but I felt it was worth it because we got to spend so much precious time together.

Of course we've also had our downs. There was a period where we almost broke up (2011) because we didn't enjoy talking anymore. I'm still so glad I was able to find employment and figure out what I wanted to study in college, because it helped me out of my depression. It still amazes me that she didn't leave me that year.

Unfortunately we still aren't together, but a couple of weeks ago she visited me again. I asked her if she wanted to marry me... And she said yes! I'll (finally) be done with college in a couple of months, so we can finally start looking forward to living together. It makes me super excited to think about the future, and I'm really looking forward to see what it holds for us together. ^^

When we talk of soulmates, we kind of know and agree what that is. But I think the reason why we get disappointed, is that as we meet someone interesting, we are forced to flesh out that definition. We either stretch it to define the person we met, or the definition breaks down because of an unmet expectation. I think there are problems with both of those end results.

I prefer a more complex system of illusions about my bonds with other people. For a significant other, I see several possible roles that that person might share with me. Lover, guardian, partner, receiver, etc, each with its own personal definition. The receiver is someone who accepts to be the target of your infatuation. A guardian helps you stay who you are, while a partner helps you develop. So basically, the roles are made out of actions, and none of them cover a whole personality.

I define a soulmate as someone who understands your identity and makes an effort for it to thrive. Additionally, a soulfriend is someone who agrees with a whole lot of your tastes, values and interests, so that your souls resonate in this manner. I have found these roles to be separate.

You could say I don't believe that soulmates are "out there", waiting to me found. However, there are several people who are able to be these roles for you, and that is a matter of effort and chance as well as compatibility. And no matter how deep that connection is, it only involves part of a person. They will have sides which are completely independent of your wishes, unknowns that you never foresaw. And that is what you embrace to create real love, because that makes that person real. In fact, too much connection can stifle love, because what you are so excited about is not the other person at all; it is yourself.

--

I've been and felt the roles of soulmate, as I see it, a couple of times. Each time a different degree and different flavor. I no longer have those connections, but even so, through them, I have become a stronger and happier person. It is as if others can build you like a puzzle, piece by piece. You cannot do it yourself. What is more important, however, is that you have that power for others as well. And the more you learn about that, the easier it is to find a soulmate.

All that is easier said than done, however, and only makes sense in retrospect. We are somewhat powerless in life, sometimes lost. I spent nearly a decade searching/waiting for missing pieces of myself, for a soulmate, for confidence. What saved me then was chance. It might also have been the fact that I kept trying new things, going new places, joining new events, etc. I exchanged to a different country and thereby moved out of all social norms that had suppressed me and kept me stuck to the same patterns. This freedom made me excited, and I reached a mental state which apparently made me attractive and interesting. I met a girl who was full of positive energy, and I felt that she could sustain that mental state in me. Without her, I would eventually have recollapsed into apathy. We enhanced each other, we were good for each other, because we shared similar beliefs and values in the world. I'd never met anyone exactly like her, someone who actually seemed to desire my company openly. She thus earned my trust and gave me the confidence to steal her heart. I was positively shocked and thrilled to be defying my own illusory tragedy.

That relationship ended, but I am now somewhat cured of my past inability to reach out to others. Before her, the soulmate I dreamed of was an impossibility, and I knew it. She was not it, but rather she delightfully proved me wrong. Now, a soulmate to me is easier to find, because they do not need to be so divinely insightful as to tear down a wall of isolation. Also, I have learnt even more of the complexity of relationships, and instead of the redeeming white light of a vague soulmate, I see also the ubiquitous warmth of heart in so many people out there.