Blarg...where to begin?

Yeah, unless you didn't know, I was unbanned. Why? I was offered to, and this was one of the most enjoyable forums I was at. I honestly don't know exactly why I was banned, but I do see now that it was a good thing I was, otherwise I would've escalated my temper even further and threw away chances of ever coming back.

Yes, I did spam up the comments on the main site. Yes, I did threat with hacking, not by me, but people I know. Thing is, that would never happen. That was me talking out of anger. I for one would never use someone like that, nor would I hack a site that doesn't deserve it, like this site. And the people I know, they're about the same with this. I am sorry for these troubles I caused.

It also seems people mistook me for another spammer. I know why, I had just been banned, and I was angry. Another thing I never do is never spam a forum. I don't know who this "theawesomeguy" is, or was, for that matter, but I can tell you I was not him. My IP was banned from just about everything except viewing the site and forum. My guess is someone also had anger out of me and tried to frame me. I am not blaming anyone here, do not take this in that direction. I'm just telling it like it is.

I have caused trouble here. Everyone makes mistakes in their life. I've said before I have a deep anger. I have been trying to stay away from stuff that would get me pissed off and start doing more relaxing stuff to calm me down and take my anger down a notch lately. That's the MAIN reason why I, being mature that I am and not wanting to cause anymore trouble, said when I was offer an unbanning that I did not want to be unbanned. However, I did say, I won't feel that way forever. I just needed to calm down some and readjust my life, which I have been doing somewhat. I still feel I was unbanned too early.

For this...I will not say I am exactly back. However, I will attempt to post. It just won't be like last time, where I was on a lot. I'll be on periodically maybe once a day just to check in, maybe leave a post or two on some things. I am at the moment also dealing with my school stuff because I was switching schools and crap, and it's the last month of vacation, so I'm doing lots of stuff before I go back to school. Expect me after the school year has kicked off to be back raring to go completely with a real fresh start and attitude! Like I said, I'll still post blurps here and there until then. I just want to get as much stress, anger, and frustration out of me before I completely come back so I won't start anymore problems.

So, okay then. Peace.

It's not really the school itself that strikes it. It's that I myself am finally changing school districts, after the one I've had from 2nd-9th grade, which is, to put it bluntly, hell, and was one of the causes for the anger I have today. I'm hoping that the new school can give me a better start and atmosphere, but there's just the pressure of going there knowing you know hardly anyone (I DO have friends there that I used to know from my old school, but yeah...), and have to readjust. I just made a bunch of new friends that go to this new school at a Bday party of my friend's earlier in July, and they were really cool, so hopefully it'll stay that way, and I won't have to go through all the BS that I went through for 8 frikken years at my other school. I still gotta readjust. And it's also a turning point in my life, I mean, in just, what, just 6 months I think, I'll be 16 as well. I'm in the stages where I have to stop spending as much time as I have on internet, video games, and anime and crap and got to start focusing on my future. My family has next to NO money a lot of the time, so if I want to go to college, I have to focus every ounce of strength into high school to get a scholarship, and hopefully become a computer/game programmer, instead of getting crappy grades, not going to college, flip burgers, and put my future family through low money and bills and in some run down house. I need to have a DECENT future. I have dreams too. I really get pissed when I constantly get distracted by the bullshit that goes on in my life. I've been trying to just steer away from this. A lot of stuff online is annoying these days, you can't open up an email account without getting 60 mortgage payment and new car spam mails per week. You can't watch a simple video on a site like youtube without people countering it with BS comments or other videos. You can't go on a forum without seeing people say, "lolz lyk dis gaym systum iz betta den dat 1 lolz ya." In real life, I can't walk around without having ghetto idiots and white trash constantly get on me.

As I have said before, a lot of stuff pisses me off. But SCREW THAT. I can't let that happen forever. As I said, I need a future. I've lately began questioning certain things about life, which I will not repeat, except, some of it is basically, what have I been doing up until now? What have I accomplished? Is this ever going TO make a difference later? Do I even have a good future? I don't know. It all depends if I can accomplish it. It's not anyone else's fault if I bomb and screw up my life. It's mine. And yes, part of it is the way I've handled things before. This is the reason I just need some time. A lot of it. To think things over, and readjust myself. Plan things out. It's just from here on out, EVERYTHING I do effects my future. And I intend to make that future a good one.

This is why I'm hoping school helps. I've heard very good things about the school I'm going to now, and, i know there are idiots wherever you go, I just hope it's not the hell hole my last school was. Once I do get back to school, hopefully everything will be better. I'll be put back on a decent schedule, I'll have a fresh start, and hopefully, it can clear up my mind and my anger a little. I've spent some of my life being an asshole, some of it filled with rage. No more. I don't want this to be me for the rest of my life.

I didn't intend for this post to be that long. I just needed to clear this up some more about school. As I said in the first post, I'm not really fully back yet. But thanks for the WB's anyways people. It's good to know there are some good people out there (by this, I mean, one of my suspicions was that I may be shunned for all the trouble I caused shall I ever come back. I now see this is not the case). Like I said. I'll be on a few times here and there, but expect me fully back at least by the time school rolls around for me, if not sooner. I'm currently working on a forum of mine, and am in the finishing stages, so when I open that up, I probably will come back to this forum completely. Just give me some time.

Once again, thanks people.