As long as I like her personality, and I think she's pretty, and we both like each other, that's good enough for me.
Somehow this thread escaped my notice up to now.
We have to be able to talk. That's really paramount for me. We need to be able to have engaging conversations.
We need to be sexually compatible. Our sexual passions need to be complimantary. She needs to be willing to experiment and try new things. She needs to respect my boundaries, and she needs to be willing to put aside judgements.
She needs to be independant. If she expects me to spend a ton of time with her every day, it'll never work. She needs her own passions and interests. She needs to know that our relationship is not as important as our individuality.
She needs to be supportive. She needs to be there when I need her, she needs to be reliable. I need her to care about my pursuits, and help me to achieve my goals.
She needs to know that I don't do the standard set of relationship agreements. I'm not monogamous, and I don't make promises about 'forever.'
It helps if she gets my sense of humor, and any hobbies we share are also a bonus.
Of course, anything I expect of her, I also expect of myself.
Honestly, I have requirements that probably will seem really intense or strict (at least one has been touched upon in another thread).
Requirements:
Preferences:
I never used to have a list of strict requirements, but the older I got and the more assholes I dated, the more I realized that I was worth more than just accepting any guy who happened to show interest in me while I was single. I ask questions, I let them know what I like and don't like. If they can't handle me, that's fine. I like being single. I like it a lot actually. >.>
I hit all your preferences,, but only one of your requirements.
Extremely unhealthy dog haters for the win!
A friend who understands me and my past, present and future. I already have this obviously, but even if I didn't, I've never had "requirements" like they're applying for the honour of being in a relationship with me.
It's always been about an intimate friendship.
Yeah, I'm really persnickety, but I also do prefer being single. I'm not one for relationships, and I've had a lot of rather unpleasant experiences with significant others in the past. They've wasted my feelings and time. I've had them blow me off for weeks and months while expecting me to remain monogamous with them, and nearly all of my boyfriends has cheated on me. :lengua: And this was during the time when I was a lot more open to who I was with, and was a lot more forgiving about everything. Sooo... me being a hardass didn't drive them to cheating, because I was willing to roll over and take a lot of abuse from them.
For me, it's not about the "honor" of dating me, it's just about what I'm willing to accept and what I'm not willing to accept from past experience. I'd rather just not waste my time and their's if I know I wont like what they'll do.
I mean, that makes perfect sense. A relationship should make you happy, and as we go through life we get better at knowing what makes us happy. Nobody is wrong for having standards.
To exist would be first on the list...
9 billion people (abouts) on the planet, buddy. They exist.
Obvs I'm married with a kid, but hypothetically:
Requirements:
Respects my authority over me. In other words, not violent or abusive, respects my right to be in charge of my own body and my own personal affairs. When my ex was on my lap and I asked her to move or get up, I'd get "No, I'm comfy". Sod that. I treat my other half's body as her sacred property, I expect the same in return.
Doesn't cheat. I like the idea of an open relationship, and I think in the early stages, I'd be happy to indulge in one. But knowing me, I suspect I wouldn't continue to be happy with it as the relationship progressed. As much as I'd like to be, I'm not cut out for an open. My relationship is a refuge from wider society, and I'd like to keep wider society out.
Honest. We all have flaws, but we don't all have a genuine desire to reduce them. In a relationship, I put a lot of effort into growing and improving for the other person, to get to know them and how to make them happy. It can't be one-sided. If someone doesn't care about being a good person, and standing by their own standards, they can't be trusted. Under the same banner, if we need to talk about something, we need to talk properly. I don't expect everyone to be versed in the logical fallacies, but I certainly need someone who can rise above name-calling and point scoring to have a proper conversation when we need one. That's being honest.
Let's me have some time. I don't mind her being a little clingy, I can understand that. But a little solitude now and then is healthy.
Accepts my vegetarianism, my political and religious viewpoints, and my choice of clothing.
Between 18-35.
Is female
Is human
Preferences:
Of course, being versed in the logical fallacies would be a bonus.
Loves learning. Doesn't matter what.
Likes some of the same music. Music is huge to me, always has been, always will be.
I was going to put 'speaks English' but actually, I imagine it'd be really cool to date someone who speaks something else. Communicating in other ways, and growing into each other's languages over time might be a transcendant experience.
Is compassionate.
To exist would be first on the list...
I feel you man.
