[NRC/+15] Is porn a bad thing?

1st Official Post
    • Official Post

    @LinkSkywalker, @SilentLion

    Disclaimer: This topic is aimed at adults. In no way this topic is to bypass the rules. It is not to share porn. It is just to discuss our views in it.

    I decided to restart the thread because the paradigm is a interesting thing to discuss that popped up before, but trying to make a discussion out of a derailed topic didn't really worked out. I want to move on from the other thread negativity and discuss this with people already okay with debating the topic.


    Anyway to get the ball rolling this are my thoughts on the matter:
    I think we can discuss porn being bad in two ways:
    1. Is making porn a bad thing?
    2. Is consuming porn a bad thing?

    I think a lot of the negative image of porn comes from the idea of illegal. There was a lot of negative light about porn because of the exploitation of people and illegal branches like children pornography. Many people think of porn without being able to separate between the illegal one and the ne done with consenting adults for whom their product is their own body. So being associated with it is bad.

    Another reason also comes from the taboo about people's sexuality. Society discourages the discussion of these kind of topics.

    Lastly, comes to mind that for many, the idea of watching other people doing it and getting a hard on means you must be promiscuous. That somehow you're less loyal.

    I think that porn has it's place and use. For single adults, or for couples in their relationships, it can help out. However, I'm one of those ladies that pretty much doesn't watch porn and if I'm in a relationship with a guy, I expect him not to watch it either. I'm very upfront about it very early on (pretty much the first two weeks in), and tell him if he'd rather watch porn I'd rather be with someone else or alone. I know other people in relationships can watch it together and be perfectly happy. I'm just not one of them. I give him time and leniency, but if him and I are going to be a thing... Well, he has to respect that part of me. Even saying it now seems unreasonable and childish, but I can't help how I feel. There's some give and take in every relationship. I just wish I was mature enough to not be hurt by my boyfriend watching porn. But it hurts my feelings and my self esteem.

    For me, I just don't find an interest in it. I'd rather spend my time on other things. There's probably at least a couple million other things I'd rather do than sit down to watch some porn. I don't think it's bad, but I do think it places unrealistic expectations on both men and women and how they can/should act during sex. I know that reasonable adults can separate porn from reality, but I think on a whole (considering the masses are generally braindead) most people consider what the pornstars do obtainable fantasies that they can try to impose on their significant other.

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    • Official Post
    Quote from Aphelion

    I think that porn has it's place and use. For single adults, or for couples in their relationships, it can help out. However, I'm one of those ladies that pretty much doesn't watch porn and if I'm in a relationship with a guy, I expect him not to watch it either. I'm very upfront about it very early on (pretty much the first two weeks in), and tell him if he'd rather watch porn I'd rather be with someone else or alone. I know other people in relationships can watch it together and be perfectly happy. I'm just not one of them. I give him time and leniency, but if him and I are going to be a thing... Well, he has to respect that part of me. Even saying it now seems unreasonable and childish, but I can't help how I feel. There's some give and take in every relationship. I just wish I was mature enough to not be hurt by my boyfriend watching porn. But it hurts my feelings and my self esteem.

    I'm completely the same. Luckily for me, my wife also feels the same. But I don't think it has anything to do with maturity. It's just a personal quirk. Some things upset us, other things don't. We could retrain ourselves not to be hurt by it and maybe never quite succeed, or we could just be honest and take porn out of the relationship. It seems easier and simpler, I don't see why there should be any obligation to change. Out of interest, do you have the same trouble with hentai? We find that we can watch that. Mostly because it's so ridiculous it's funny, but also because it's not real - it derives its... whatever it is... from the imagination of the situation or whatever.

    Quote

    For me, I just don't find an interest in it. I'd rather spend my time on other things. There's probably at least a couple million other things I'd rather do than sit down to watch some porn. I don't think it's bad, but I do think it places unrealistic expectations on both men and women and how they can/should act during sex. I know that reasonable adults can separate porn from reality, but I think on a whole (considering the masses are generally braindead) most people consider what the pornstars do obtainable fantasies that they can try to impose on their significant other.

    Now this for me is a huge grey area. I used to be a huge porn watcher before I got with my significant other. Because I enjoyed it so much, I found ways to believe it was harmless. Now that I'm more distanced from it, my confirmation bias has eased off a little. I do believe porn creates emotionally harmful expectations, in that nobody feels good enough, especially women who are usually the stars of the media. But on the other hand, I could say the same for all types of media, especially the fashion world. Granted, it's more extreme with porn, but photoshopped mag pics do a similar thing. For that matter, maybe fashion itself should be frowned upon. After all, if physical appearance shouldn't be a factor in how we see people, why dress our bodies up to make them look good in the way we do? Who's opinion are we caring about?

    So, in terms of porn, should it be stopped (if it was possible), or reformed? If body types were picked at random, and porn was full of large people, little people etc, would that fix the problem? Or would the porn companies that featured more 'attractive' bodies end up making more money?

    What I disagree with is people being against sexuality for some high and mighty notion of ettiquette or properness. That whole Victorian good and bad taste thing really gets on me.

    Really unless you have a strong moral viewpoint it's gonna be hard to prove that porn is a bad thing unless you want to go into child pornography or rape. Because porn is as far as anyone without religious or moral views two or one or three people rubbing in a certain way that it pleases the senses. However if you want to go ahead and bring religion into the deal in is considered an intrinsic evil to the Catholic church any non-denomination or religion other than that however I can say with 99.999% clarity will not be able to prove this. I'm going to refrain for the sake of my fingers from explain how it is evil within the Catholic church unless someone has been told otherwise or wants me to elaborate.

    From a common line of decency which is possible to be shared across the board however pornography is simply looked upon as gross in the public of modern culture. There is no grounds or thesis that this culture has that are strong enough or willing to make it seem there is anything wrong with pornography. But since the levels of equality and lack of strong willed men that exist in culture today(American speaking for Merica when I talk about culture sorry I'm not to educated on that much of the rest of the world) women's opinions are taken very very seriously and held in a much higher esteem than men's even still which is a debate for another day.

    But women most commonly do not find any pleasure from pornography and find it visually appalling most of the time. Men on the other hand have a particular part of their brain which is sensory and creates something referred to as dopamine which essentially produces pleasure. Sex, and even drugs like cocaine effect this portion of the brain producing pleasure. Men on the other hand are able to effect that receptor in their brain through visuals where as it is not as strong in women. Also I mentioned cocaine? Yeah pornography and sex and masturbation etc. are all just as addicting because they effect the same sensors in the brain. Now when I say this I am speaking of men. Women are less likely to get addicted to such things however when woman do sway towards pornography it is in the form of novels or stories etc. 50 shades of grey and 50 shades darker for instance.

    I can go on and on and on but I guess I'll just leave this here and see what happens

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    Now that 50 Shades of Gray has been mentioned, I can put this down.

    It doesn't occur to me the logic that it takes for both partners to have this kind of logic:

    Man: *watches porn*
    Woman: Stop watching porn
    Woman: *reads porn*
    Man: Stop reading porn.

    See what the issue is there? It does exist, and it baffles me.

    *insert something witty here*

    @Silent Lion regarding the issue of hentai, it's not as bad but I still prefer that neither of us watches it. It's more of a courtesy thing than anything. I think that hentai and books aren't as damaging as actual porn to relationships, although that's probably bias. I have no real intellectual proof on it.

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    Quote from Silent Lion

    @Lexatom It's lost on me, is it the hypocrisy?

    @Edward_Stryfe A lot of interesting facts. What's your opinion on all those facts? You're against porn purely on Catholic grounds?


    Well that and just instinctual moral grounds I'll admit I've participated in it and regret it. ONce you stop though you realize it's just stupid and gross. That's really it I mean esentially your watching people rub skin. . . The fact that I found pleasure in that is baffling (also I was 9ish at the time)

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    • Official Post

    I'm not that comfortable with instinctual morals. I know that makes me unqiue/bloody odd but I think there's a danger in mistaking tastes for morals. Like when people say 'that crap music she listens to' or 'what is he wearing?', it's people taking things that are subjective taste and trying to turn them into objective fact. If it can't be linked to anything intellectual I'd be suspicious.

    Quote from Aphelion

    I think that porn has it's place and use. For single adults, or for couples in their relationships, it can help out. However, I'm one of those ladies that pretty much doesn't watch porn and if I'm in a relationship with a guy, I expect him not to watch it either. I'm very upfront about it very early on (pretty much the first two weeks in), and tell him if he'd rather watch porn I'd rather be with someone else or alone. I know other people in relationships can watch it together and be perfectly happy. I'm just not one of them. I give him time and leniency, but if him and I are going to be a thing... Well, he has to respect that part of me. Even saying it now seems unreasonable and childish, but I can't help how I feel. There's some give and take in every relationship. I just wish I was mature enough to not be hurt by my boyfriend watching porn. But it hurts my feelings and my self esteem.

    So you expect him to masturbate without any source of stimulation material?

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